Staying at the Hotel Filthy: A French Farce in Three Acts

Some trips go to plan. This one didn’t.

I crossed the Channel by ferry as a foot passenger, expecting the shuttle bus to drop me into the middle of Calais. It didn’t. From a stretch of nowhere on the edge of the docks, I walked into town — only to find a hotel so grim I refused to stay in it. I tried to switch, the alternative wouldn’t let me in, and I ended up back at the first place anyway. Then, at four in the morning, strangers tried to get into my room.

A French farce in three acts, as billed. Watch the full film above.

Where I went

From the ferry terminal at Calais — the shuttle drop-off turned out to be a long way from where I thought it would be — I walked in past an automatic pumping station and through the dock area, then over into Calais proper. The Hotel Filthy is in there somewhere. I’ll let the film name it.

What you’ll see in the film

• Arriving at Calais by ferry as a foot passenger
• The walk in from the shuttle drop-off — past the pumping station and through the docks
• A Jacques Cousteau anecdote in passing
• The first hotel and the room inspection that ended the relationship
• The attempt to switch hotels — and why it failed
• The forced return to the first place
• A 4 am visit from people who weren’t supposed to be there

Practical notes

• Best time: spring or early autumn — the Channel crossings are reliable and the town isn’t busy.
• How long: the film covers roughly twenty-four hours; the crossing from Dover is about ninety minutes.
• Walkability: a couple of miles in from the ferry drop-off on roads and through the docks — fine in dry weather.
• How to get there: Dover to Calais by ferry (DFDS or P&O); foot-passenger fares are reasonable, and the crossing is short enough that you don’t need a cabin.
• What I wish I’d known: “Calais” on the shuttle timetable does not always mean the middle of Calais. And read the hotel reviews more carefully than I did.

A little history

Calais sits on the narrowest stretch of the Channel — twenty-one miles from the English coast, a fact that has made it strategically valuable to whoever happened to want it. It was held by the English crown for two hundred years after Edward III took it in 1347, returned to France in 1558, and bombed nearly flat in 1944. Most of what you see today is post-war reconstruction with older fragments worked in. As a port town, Calais has always been a place you arrive in or leave from rather than one you settle into — which, on this particular trip, felt about right.

Related walks

If you enjoyed this one, you might like the rest of the France trip:

• Aix-les-Bains: A Stunning Lake and a Surprise Boat Trip — the lake town of Lac du Bourget and a surprise boat trip.
• Eating My Way Through Lyon: Frog, Oysters and More — eating my way through the kitchen capital of France.
• Walking Croix-Rousse: Is It Still Lyon’s Silk Quarter? — wandering Lyon’s old silk-weaver hill.
• Too Much Train Pain: What Was My Plan B? — when the train plan falls apart and Plan B kicks in.
• Being Medieval in Crémieu: Chateau, Castle and Winding Streets near Lyon — a medieval town in the hills near Lyon.
• How to Cross the Channel at Calais — every method, from the free bus to Sangatte Beach.

Stay in touch

New walks land on the channel regularly — the easiest way to follow along is to subscribe on YouTube. The full set of written companions to every film lives in The Journal, and there’s a curated set of the longer pieces on the Featured Films page. If you’ve got an idea for somewhere I should walk next, send it through the Contact page — I read everything.

Patrick Ashton is a UK-based filmmaker walking the overlooked corners of Britain and Europe. More about Patrick →